On being different.

Almost 20 years ago, I moved from my home state to Washington, DC where I found that I was a bit "different" from most of the people I met. I already knew I was different. It had been driven home to me time and again from childhood. My family didn't vacation the same way others in my community vacationed. We didn't play the way others in my community played. Heck, I didn't even color the way other kids colored (Mama gave us any art supply we asked to have but we NEVER, never had a coloring book). But coming to Washington, DC drove my differences home more solidly than ever before.
My father was a history buff, and particularly loved 18th Century history. I think his love of the Lone Ranger and Tonto morphed into a genuine passion for learning about Native American culture, and that dovetailed into stories of "frontier life" in the 1700s. Our region was rife with history from this era. Our home was the frontier, the battles happened virtually in our back yard.

When I was about six years old, Daddy became involved in a project to rebuild an 18th Century refuge fort, called Prickett's Fort. Mama made us period appropriate costumes. Daddy spent 400+ hours making a historically accurate muzzle loader, and started practicing his knife and tomahawk (not to be confused with an axe) throwing. We started going to rendezvous, where others dressed in 18th Century garb, camped in authentic campsites, and competed in shooting, as well as knife and tomahawk throwing. The days would end with campfires and singing of historically appropriate music playing historically appropriate instruments.

I would imagine there are very few people who think it "normal" to regularly dress in 18th Century costume, there is probably a more select group who learned to weave "linsey" on a 200 year old barn loom, spin wool on a 150 year old walking wheel, and cook in a fireplace with a cast iron pot. I doubt many spent their summers listening to the beat of a tomahawk repeatedly hitting a target, even fewer who'd been taught how to throw tomahawks as a child, and I may be the only person I know who had an ex-boyfriend chased off the property with a tomahawk. But this was my family's normal.

While other of my classmates were heading to the beach or an amusement park, my family was heading to another fort, historical site or rendezvous. While other families went hunting for venison, my Dad begged the skins of the deer to make buckskin britches. While other fathers were winning sales awards, my Dad was named State Champion in knife and tomahawk throwing. And Mama and I spent many an hour looking for red fox pelts to make Daddy's fox hat (instead of the oft seen coonskin cap).






My high school science project was on the effects the pot had as a mordant in natural dying (copper pots made the prettiest dyes). While other girls were dressed in 80s neon, I was graduating from shift and mob cap to English bodice and lace cap. And one of the most enjoyable parties I threw in law school involved showing a group of friends how to hold and throw a tomahawk - in the Nation's capitol, just off one of the main thoroughfares.

Somehow, somewhere along the way, my family had taught me an important lesson: embrace who you are. As I grew older, it became easier to be okay with the fact that we were just different, and that there were many other people out there who were also different - in a different way, but still different. Eventually, I found those different people, embraced those different people, and called them friend.

Today, I live in Alexandria, near Mount Vernon, where it is assumed if I'm in 18th Century costume, I'm probably giving a tour nearby. I have a son who's already outgrown his first 18th Century costume - the one he wore with his (proud) Grandfather to a rendezvous at 18 months.

One of the larger challenges I have facing me as a parent is to encourage my child's different self in a way that will encourage him to embrace who he is with confidence. I don't think it will be easy because I know conformity is a much easier path. But what I CAN do, is point to those people I've called friends - some of whom I can claim almost a lifetime of friendship - and say, "See? THIS is what makes you rich. THIS is what makes life good. THESE are the people who will celebrate life with you." And I will thank my "different" friends for embracing the different in me, while I celebrate their different with them. All the while I will know: my life will always be richer for embracing the different.

Weekend Wanderings: Do you Rendezvous?

Most people - on the East Coast at least - have heard of Civil War Reenactors. Those are the guys who dress in Civil War uniforms and go out and reenact battles from the Civil War. Well I grew up doing something similar, yet different. My family's period was a little further back - to the time of the Revolutionary (1770s-1780s) or even as far back as the French and Indian War (1750s to 1760s). I even did a stint as as historical interpretor at a local refuge fort (Prickett's Fort) when I was in graduate school.

My father has a love of history and this really caught his attention when I was a kid - the fact that we celebrated the Centennial of the U.S. in 1976 might have had something to do with his fascination. We often dressed in period clothing and went to Rendezvous. A Rendezvous is a gathering of people who dress in period clothing and camp in "primitive" encampments - i.e., nothing "modern" should be seen in or around your camp. Sticklers would even fault you if you used a sewing machine to make your clothes rather than sewing them by hand!

My father would compete in various tests of skill. Competitions usually included knife throwing, tomahawk throwing and accuracy firing of a muzzle loader (the gun used in that period). Daddy is a state champion knife and tomahawk throwing champion, which somewhat threw off my husband when we first me. But he got over it.

Some Rendezvous had vendors who sell various 18th Century accoutrements. Usually there was fantastic period music (often of the Irish variety). They were usually held in historic locations such as a reconstructed fort. And they are still held today!

We had the opportunity to visit Ft. Frederick's Market Fair this Spring and re-live some of our shared history. This particular Market Fair had a huge number of vendors to explore. You could find stock wood used to make a muzzle loader or just buy a finished piece.

You could find handles for a tomahawk, a throwing hawk without decoration or a hawk with silver inlay and carvings that also doubles as a peace pipe. There was clothing galore for men, women and children including footwear. Want to make your own clothing? There were buckles and buttons and fabric by the yard. Then there were the "housewares" such as glass bottles, lanterns, furniture and even tents if you needed one.

The interesting thing about this particular Rendezvous was how the sentiments about government control they were "reenacting" are so similar to many of the same sentiments today. I saw more than one "Unite or Die" flag and literally walked into more than one discussion of excessive taxation that could have been appropriate in either century, which I find hysterical. I guess the more we change, the more we stay the same as a nation!

If you ever get a chance to Rendezvous, you should. Take your kids. Teach them about our history in a hands-on environment. Most reenactors are happy to talk about the period and have a body of knowledge on the social history and customs of our forefathers. And usually, they love to talk!